receipts, not vibes
who is actually
funny in the gc?
Drop in the file your Mac already keeps. We open it right here, count every laugh react, and put your friends on a podium.
drop chat.db here
we do the rest. no terminal, no code, no setup.
stays on your laptop. we never see it.
just browsing?
- 📼a laugh recap for your gc
- 🧮laughs per message
- 🕸️the glaze matrix
- 🎬who sends mid reels
how to find your chat.db (about a minute)
Every message you have ever sent on a Mac already sits in one file. You only have to point us at it.
-
1
quit Messages
Cmd + Q in the Messages app. This makes it write your newest texts into the file instead of holding them aside.
-
2
copy the file to your desktop
In Finder press cmd + shift + G, paste the path below, hit enter, then drag chat.db onto your desktop.
~/Library/Messages/ -
3
drop it up there
That's it. We open it here in your browser, show you your group chats, and you pick one.
Your Mac keeps that file private, which is why it gets copied out rather than read in place.
opening your messages
This can take a few seconds on a big database.
step 1 of 2
which group chat?
We found these in your database. Pick the one you want roasted.
step 2 of 2
who is who?
Your Mac stores numbers, not names. Do it once and they'll show up everywhere.
🪄 don't type all that
In the Contacts app press cmd + A, then File, Export, Export vCard. Drop the file here and we'll fill these in for you.
. Flip them to out and they leave every number.
the group chat
total laugh reacts, all time
who talks the most
Messages sent. Not a competition, but somebody is winning it.
laughs per message sent
Volume is one thing. This is hit rate, which is the stat that actually hurts.
who laughs at whose messages
Rows give the reaction, columns receive it. Darker square, heavier glaze.
This chat was too big to fit every reaction separately in the link, so the matrix shows all of them added together.
reactions per reel sent
Reels, TikToks and shorts, whether they came through as a link or as the video itself. Sending 40 of these and getting nothing back is a personality.
most laughed at messages ever
These stay on your machine. They are never part of a share link.